Author: Kristin Philipps

To our firecracker in the sky! Happy 21st Birthday Jadyn. We love you and miss you.

I thought I had learned this lesson a few years ago when Jadyn left, but apparently I need a refresher!!! I HAVE NO REAL CONTROL OVER LIFE OR DEATH or much else for that matter……God is reminding me of this yet again. I found this hand written card of Jadyn’s while going through her things recently. Instead of keeping my eyes fixed on what is wrong, what is frustrating, what is causing fear and divisiveness, we are called to “keep our eyes on what is true, what is lovely, what is excellent and worthy of praise.” HUGE challenge right now isn’t it?

As the COVID 19 ordeal goes on longer and longer, the tension becoming palpable, I’m finding it harder to find peace. I listened to a podcast yesterday centered around this Bible verse……”You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are FIXED on you”-Isaiah 26:3…..I now have this written on a card next to my bed and read it several times before “trying” to go to sleep. (key word “trying”) I am writing these words for myself as much as anyone else!!!!! Blessings and Love, Kristin (Lets keep our eyes fixed upward)

Amazing song for you…

Hey my sweet J…   It is our second Easter without you here on earth.  I miss you as much as ever!   I can’t help but thinking that you would be coming home from your first year of college soon, all grown up and as funny as ever……. Just in time for your brother’s college graduation in May.  Time and the work that grief requires (which is oh so much) has softened the pain some, but your absence still takes my breath away sometimes.

I have been involved and surrounded by LOTS of hard stories and circumstances lately……depression, divorce, suicide, anxiety, serious illness and the list goes on. God has graciously allowed me to encourage and bless others with our story. There is a tiny part of me that is glad you aren’t having to experience any of this broken world, because you only see beauty, love, joy, peace and kindness now! A dear friend recently pointed out that you are probably up in Heaven cheering me on saying, “U go mom, u got this”!!! That made me smile because I can truly envision it…..

I was just reading the story of Jesus raising His close buddy Lazarus from the dead. Although He wept and was broken-hearted, still He had the power to resurrect Lazarus back to life. His words right before the miracle in John 11:25,26………”I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even after dying. Everyone who lives in me and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?” I do believe this and I know you do too Jadyn!

Easter reminds me that you are resurrected, restored, redeemed and revived to life eternal just as Jesus is. That gives me comfort and hope like nothing else can💜.

So enjoy Easter in Paradise as we anxiously await joining you one day!!!

luv u girl😘

As I look out the window today, I am reminded of one of Jadyn’s very favorite childhood movies, “The Chronicles of Narnia”.   If you haven’t seen it please do!   Jadyn was NOT a big fan of winter as u can see in this crazy picture…..

But as i was thinking about that movie, I remembered a quote that I love about winter from The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe.

“Wrong will be right, when Aslan comes in sight, at the sound of His roar, sorrows will be no more. When He bares His teeth, winter meets its death, and when He shakes His mane, we shall have spring again!!!”

“The winter is passed; the rains are over and gone. Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come. The cooing of doves is heard in our land. The fig tree forms it’s early fruit, the blossoming vines spread their sweet fragrance…” Song of Solomon

Jadyn is actually WITH the One we celebrate today. (the Son of God)

What an amazing thing!!!

I have been trying to focus on light in the darkness this Christmas season. It is the only way for me to survive this time of year! When you are dealing with any sort of loss the holiday season seems to magnify it. I know many can relate. I read something this week that really resonated with me and thought I’d share it …….

“From the darkness of the world comes the light. At this time of year, darkness engulfs us earlier and earlier in the day until we reach the shortest day of the year. Then comes Christmas, the birth of our savior. From out of the darkness comes the Light!”

As many of you know, Jadyn loved everything California! Hollywood, movie stars, music, skater boys, Universal Studios, ect. While we had been there many times, she was particularly looking forward to starting Biola University this Fall.  So we find ourselves here in Cali today honoring her life!These are the things we remember about her today…

COMPASSION: When JJ and I went to New York, instead of shopping or running to see the Statue of Liberty, she just walked around the streets of Manhattan giving all her spending money away to the homeless.

LOYAL: Jadyn loved her family and friends with a fierce love. If anyone hurt them, she had no problem planning their demise.(literally)

TENACIOUS: Even after all the years of not being able to keep up in dance, she was determined to dance to the very end. As many of you may remember, her anthem was “Max Out, Pass Out”.

FIERY: Jadyn was not a fun person to cross. You never wanted to get on her bad side. I know from experience!

GOOFY: Jadyn loved meeting and getting to know “unique” people. In fact for her, the stranger the better. Maybe that is why she and Troy got along so well!

FUNNY: Jadyn wanted to get a laugh out of everybody at all times.  She loved doing stand up comedy with an audience.  The O.R. nurse told me that she was cracking them up even as she was going under anesthesia.  Anytime she went in the operating room, she would entertain the entire staff until the last possible second!

CREATURES: Jadyn loved and named all the animals, including a flying squirrel and bird who found their way into our home. (Bandit the flying squirrel, and Speckles the bird) However, all spiders were removed carefully from her room and released in our front yard.

Below is the last verse I texted Jadyn shortly before she ran ahead to Heaven…

Thanks to Wheaton Academy for this great tribute to Jadyn.

Today as I was looking at a beautiful September sky with fluffy clouds skidding along a bright sun…..a memory came rushing back to me!  Jadyn used to occasionally get these overwhelming feelings of gratefulness, happiness and joy.   Usually it was when I was driving her to dance class. She would randomly say,  “mom here it comes again! That crazy happy thankful feeling that gives me goose bumps”.  It did not happen often, but it was obvious when it came over her teenage self!!!

I would laugh and tell her I was glad she felt that way, because with teenagers it is rare. This actually went on for years.  I always thought it was a bit strange but those of you who knew Jadyn can maybe envision this?

So as I look again at the glorious Fall sky,  I had the overwhelming feeling that she must feel like that ALL the time now!  Pure unadulterated joy….with no anxiety or stress or pain or sadness or insecurity or negative thoughts or bad feelings!  I think God reminded of this as we face the one year anniversary of Jadyn going to Heaven.  HE knows it is excruciating for us, and that we are reliving the pain.  Yet the Holy Spirit is the great comforter after all.  And He speaks truth to our minds and souls.   I know it was a sweet reminder from HIM!

Thanks for your continued prayers at this tough time…

Kristin

“Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy”………..Jesus’ words in John 16:22

Tomorrow (8/17) is Jadyn’s first birthday in Heaven..….I can’t imagine what is happening there, but I know what we were doing a year ago. She received her first car, and was so proud to start her Senior year with that huge smile.

The sadness of missing her honestly brings us to our knees.   Sometimes its just plain hard to see a silver lining in this dark cloud.  But we move forward and look for God’s mighty hand.  Today we are in Wisconsin at one of her favorite places where she spent a majority of her birthdays.  Yes, we are looking for beauty in the ashes, joy instead of mourning, hope for despair…..

Isaiah 61:3

A couple weeks ago God brought little “Joy” to our home…. She is a lover!

Thank you for your continued prayers for us,

Blessings, Troy and Kristin

 

These photos were taken a year ago today!  It was my favorite day last summer because Jadyn was feeling well and had sooo much fun!

We had no idea that she would leave this earth a few short months later.  I knew the pictures were extra special at the time but didn’t know why.

GOD KNEW!   Now I know…

They were a gift from Him for us to hold onto and cherish for the rest of our earthly days!  Thank you Lord for the gift of 7/18/17 and the beauty of this special girl of yours…

“NOW we see things imperfectly, like reflections in a mirror, but THEN we will see everything with perfect clarity.  All that I know NOW is partial and incomplete, but THEN I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.” I Corinthians 13:12 (NLT)