Looking for Eternity

I thought I had learned this lesson a few years ago when Jadyn left, but apparently I need a refresher!!! I HAVE NO REAL CONTROL OVER LIFE OR DEATH or much else for that matter……God is reminding me of this yet again. I found this hand written card of Jadyn’s while going through her things recently. Instead of keeping my eyes fixed on what is wrong, what is frustrating, what is causing fear and divisiveness, we are called to “keep our eyes on what is true, what is lovely, what is excellent and worthy of praise.” HUGE challenge right now isn’t it?

As the COVID 19 ordeal goes on longer and longer, the tension becoming palpable, I’m finding it harder to find peace. I listened to a podcast yesterday centered around this Bible verse……”You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are FIXED on you”-Isaiah 26:3…..I now have this written on a card next to my bed and read it several times before “trying” to go to sleep. (key word “trying”) I am writing these words for myself as much as anyone else!!!!! Blessings and Love, Kristin (Lets keep our eyes fixed upward)

Amazing song for you…

The list keeping growing longer each week of new friends who have children joining Jadyn in heaven with Jesus. For all of you who have joined our club, this song is for you…

I’m sitting in a Starbucks sipping my “fall” drink and i find myself looking out at the chilly grey day reflecting on the past 2 years. It seems like forever ago and just yesterday that Jadyn ran ahead to Heaven🙏. I miss that crazy girl of mine as much as ever, but God has been faithful as He slowly pieces together my shattered heart💔. i don’t expect that it will look anything like my old unshattered heart, but the cracks (and there are many), are where He allows the light to shine both inward and outward. I have spent sooo much time looking for that light in the darkness…because it has been a long, dark journey. The video below was played at JJ’s memorial service. Listen to the song……Jesus STILL and always will make the darkness “Tremble”……..” He is light and in Him there is no darkness AT ALL”  1 John 1:5

“God has called Jadyn out of the darkness into His marvelous light”……I Peter 2:9

Watch and listen………

Today is Jadyn’s 20th birthday being celebrated in Heaven💜.   Here on earth she is forever18.    These pictures were all taken 2 years ago on our last trip to California with our family. We find ourselves here again getting tanner settled for grad school.  They both always wanted to be out here!!!  Jadyn is with us in spirit🙏.  

As I gaze at the ocean, flowers, hummingbirds and blue sky i know that she lives in a place that makes this pale in comparison(Paradise)

🥰Happy Heavenly birthday sweet girl😘😘😘

“You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.” Psalm 16:11

Hey my sweet J…   It is our second Easter without you here on earth.  I miss you as much as ever!   I can’t help but thinking that you would be coming home from your first year of college soon, all grown up and as funny as ever……. Just in time for your brother’s college graduation in May.  Time and the work that grief requires (which is oh so much) has softened the pain some, but your absence still takes my breath away sometimes.

I have been involved and surrounded by LOTS of hard stories and circumstances lately……depression, divorce, suicide, anxiety, serious illness and the list goes on. God has graciously allowed me to encourage and bless others with our story. There is a tiny part of me that is glad you aren’t having to experience any of this broken world, because you only see beauty, love, joy, peace and kindness now! A dear friend recently pointed out that you are probably up in Heaven cheering me on saying, “U go mom, u got this”!!! That made me smile because I can truly envision it…..

I was just reading the story of Jesus raising His close buddy Lazarus from the dead. Although He wept and was broken-hearted, still He had the power to resurrect Lazarus back to life. His words right before the miracle in John 11:25,26………”I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even after dying. Everyone who lives in me and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?” I do believe this and I know you do too Jadyn!

Easter reminds me that you are resurrected, restored, redeemed and revived to life eternal just as Jesus is. That gives me comfort and hope like nothing else can💜.

So enjoy Easter in Paradise as we anxiously await joining you one day!!!

luv u girl😘

As I look out the window today, I am reminded of one of Jadyn’s very favorite childhood movies, “The Chronicles of Narnia”.   If you haven’t seen it please do!   Jadyn was NOT a big fan of winter as u can see in this crazy picture…..

But as i was thinking about that movie, I remembered a quote that I love about winter from The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe.

“Wrong will be right, when Aslan comes in sight, at the sound of His roar, sorrows will be no more. When He bares His teeth, winter meets its death, and when He shakes His mane, we shall have spring again!!!”

“The winter is passed; the rains are over and gone. Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come. The cooing of doves is heard in our land. The fig tree forms it’s early fruit, the blossoming vines spread their sweet fragrance…” Song of Solomon

Jadyn is actually WITH the One we celebrate today. (the Son of God)

What an amazing thing!!!

I have been trying to focus on light in the darkness this Christmas season. It is the only way for me to survive this time of year! When you are dealing with any sort of loss the holiday season seems to magnify it. I know many can relate. I read something this week that really resonated with me and thought I’d share it …….

“From the darkness of the world comes the light. At this time of year, darkness engulfs us earlier and earlier in the day until we reach the shortest day of the year. Then comes Christmas, the birth of our savior. From out of the darkness comes the Light!”

As many of you know, Jadyn loved everything California! Hollywood, movie stars, music, skater boys, Universal Studios, ect. While we had been there many times, she was particularly looking forward to starting Biola University this Fall.  So we find ourselves here in Cali today honoring her life!These are the things we remember about her today…

COMPASSION: When JJ and I went to New York, instead of shopping or running to see the Statue of Liberty, she just walked around the streets of Manhattan giving all her spending money away to the homeless.

LOYAL: Jadyn loved her family and friends with a fierce love. If anyone hurt them, she had no problem planning their demise.(literally)

TENACIOUS: Even after all the years of not being able to keep up in dance, she was determined to dance to the very end. As many of you may remember, her anthem was “Max Out, Pass Out”.

FIERY: Jadyn was not a fun person to cross. You never wanted to get on her bad side. I know from experience!

GOOFY: Jadyn loved meeting and getting to know “unique” people. In fact for her, the stranger the better. Maybe that is why she and Troy got along so well!

FUNNY: Jadyn wanted to get a laugh out of everybody at all times.  She loved doing stand up comedy with an audience.  The O.R. nurse told me that she was cracking them up even as she was going under anesthesia.  Anytime she went in the operating room, she would entertain the entire staff until the last possible second!

CREATURES: Jadyn loved and named all the animals, including a flying squirrel and bird who found their way into our home. (Bandit the flying squirrel, and Speckles the bird) However, all spiders were removed carefully from her room and released in our front yard.

Below is the last verse I texted Jadyn shortly before she ran ahead to Heaven…

Thanks to Wheaton Academy for this great tribute to Jadyn.